Rockin Wall Street

Mark Gilbert compares investment banks to bands:

Investment banks have personalities that are reflected in how they go about their business and how their peers view them. Bands express their character traits through the music they make and the company they keep.

Here’s his rundown:
1) Goldman Sachs = The Rolling Stones
2) Citigroup = Ozzy Osbourne
3) Deutsche Bank = Fleetwood Mac
4) JPMorgan = Radiohead
5) Barclays Capital = Oasis
6) Morgan Stanley = Coldplay
7) Merrill Lynch = Madonna
8) HSBC = any boyband
9) UBS = Phil Collins
10) Commerzbank = David Hasselhoff
Under Deutsche Bank, he write: “A lazy comparison would equate Deutsche Bank AG, Germany’s only global bank, with Kraftwerk, Germany’s only global band.” Kraftwek? Please. Has he never heard of the Scorpions, the Ambassadors of Rock?
Plus, there are some glaring oversights. I’ll try fill in some blanks.
Lehman Brothers = The Clash, the only bank that matters.
Bear Stearns = OutKast, often copied never topped.
Credit Suisse = The Village People, see Quattrone’s mustache for details.

Posted by Eddy Elfenbein on May 12th, 2006 at 12:03 pm

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